THE GRANDMA WHO TURNS SOCKS INTO RABBITS

Following their unconventional approach to parenting and family life, our Mum and Dad carried over their unique take on life into grandparenting*. Basically, they made it up as they went along.

You could never be sure what they'd do next...

I suppose Saggy and I should have known better when Mum (aka Grandma) offered to fetch our primary school children home one day when she was visiting us. This was at a time when our two families lived next door to each other, and we had racked up a fair number of kids between us. So, off Grandma went to the school with a length of rope concealed about her person. She wasn't leaving anything to chance.

When Grandma had rounded up the correct number of children (nine of them, and a very lively bunch too) and checked that she'd got the right ones, she produced the rope and corralled the kids inside it. Off home she set with them all roped together, down the street and across the roads getting the sort of funny looks she was well used to and happily ignoring them all. The kids thought it was great. Nobody else had a grandma who was quite so much fun.

Grandma never came to visit without helping out somehow, most often by sorting out and pairing up odd socks. This wasn’t such an easy job as it sounds, which is why I hadn’t usually got around to it myself. It was sock chaos and Grandma loved it; it was right up her street.

As the children got bigger and the family grew, the number of socks increased until they seemed to be everywhere, clean and dirty. Grandma came into this mayhem like Wonder-woman and heroically brought order. I would produce a mountain of clean socks and she would settle herself down to tackle it, fortified with occasional cups of tea, until at last there was a pile of paired socks all done up like little rabbits (or pocket bunnies, as Dan called them when he was very young) and an almost as large pile of socks for which no partner could be found. 

Another of Grandma’s favourite jobs was sweeping the garden path. I don’t know why, maybe she preferred being outdoors in the relative peace and quiet. Dad (aka Granddad) would usually be indoors entertaining the children and causing some sort of happy riot. This was Grandad’s forte, and Grandma thankfully let him get on with it.

Grandma could also have a lot of fun with her grandchildren when she felt like it though. She was famous among the grandchildren for being able to grip them behind the knee with her special secret hold, which had them paralysed, helpless, laughing and terrified all at once. It may seem a strange way to bond with your grandchildren, but it worked! They loved it. I don’t know where she learnt this dubious skill from. She wouldn’t tell me or show me how to do it. It would have come in SO handy with the teenagers.

Remember, this was my role model for grandmothering. But this Grandma is a very hard act to follow There's nobody quite like her.

*My spell checker didn't like the word ‘grandparenting’ and suggested ‘grandpa renting’ instead. Now there's a thought. Watch out Dad, I've had an idea for making money…