A WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE

A mellow look at middle age…

A woman of a certain age. That's what they used to call the middle-aged female. Funny expression isn't it. 

A study in 2014 found that half the middle-aged women they asked felt they were judged negatively because of their age and two thirds felt that society was geared toward younger women. Many said they had no confidence because of things like having grey hair, wearing specs and not being able to find fashionable clothes. They felt invisible, marginalised.

But how are ‘women of a certain age’ supposed to feel? How are we supposed to look and act?

How are we supposed to age?

To quote Cameron Diaz….

“I get so mad when I hear commercials on television where [they say] ‘anti-aging’, we don’t honour the journey and who we are and how much we have to offer. It’s almost as if we have failed if we don’t remain 25 for the rest of our lives. Like we are failures. Oh, I’m sorry, I apologise, I wasn’t able to defy nature.”

It does no good blaming anyone for feeling invisible or unimportant. It shouldn't matter about our youth centred culture. We don’t have to rely on male attention to feel validated. Personally, I no longer care about any of that.

To be honest though, midlife isn't all morning tea in bed and coffee with friends. There are some definite downsides because middle age comes with major life changes. There are adjustments to be made. Sadly, this often includes elasticated waistbands and reading glasses on a string round the neck. But all is not lost. With a little mental adjustment midlife can be rewarding and enjoyable.

From the day my grandma slipped on the stairs, landed on her behind and got stuck there, laughing fit to bust because she could see the funny side of it, I knew that was the sort of old I wanted to be one day, and middle age has been good practice for it. There's plenty of material for a good laugh every day.

There's the classic ‘what did I come in here for’. That's been going on for a long time now.

Then there's the ‘doctors/teachers/policemen are getting younger thing. Well, the first time I met our new dentist, I thought it was Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. There she was, a tiny pixie of a woman sitting on a high stool, looking about 12 years old. But no, she was the dentist, and a very good one she turned out to be.

 ‘Where are my keys/phone/biscuit?’ happens a lot, and of course, ‘where did I leave my tea?’.

There's even been the ‘where are my glasses….oh they're on my head’ scenario. And, more worryingly, while driving, ‘where am I supposed to be going?’

I'm just glad I find all this amusing.

When we were children, Saggy and I were fascinated by the clothes the middle aged and elderly chose to wear. We would spend ages looking at the older woman's clothing section of Mum's catalogue in fascinated horror. Was this the sort of thing we would have to wear when we got past 40? Floral Crimplene skirts, twin sets, tartan slippers with pom-poms, flannelette nighties, long line bras, enormous knickers, corsets for goodness sake! We shuddered.

Thankfully all that crimplene and flannelette is a thing of the past. Even old ladies don't wear corsets and bloomers any more.

We shape our own midlife experience. We wear what we like. We can even go to university if we want to. But more of that another day…

Moo